


That One HyunLix Debate Team Fic

by anygay



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, M/M, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, rocket science - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28383576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anygay/pseuds/anygay
Summary: Changbin lifted his pad and scanned through it for a bit before beginning. “Rather than attackthe Affirmative case, I propose the following Negative counterplan: We grant all the harms claimed by the Affirmative, but state that the better way to combat teenage pregnancy is by pouring money into a huge rock concert that we'll call the Concert for Sexlessness."Hyunjin couldn’t hold his laugh in, his composure completely ruined. The only thing that pulled him back to his senses was the fact that he was the only one laughing. Felix was cradling his face in both hands and Changbin was staring at Hyunjin in mild judgement and curiosity.That was when it occurred to Hyunjin that he’d completely misread that. “Oh, you, you, you -- that was serious?”Changbin lazily raised both hands on either side of him, palms up, as if offering his defense up for further examination. “What’s wrong with the rock concert for sexlessness?”Everything, Hyunjin didn’t say. He opted instead to go with: “W-well, how many rock, rock, rockstars do you know that prac-practice, practice abstinence?”Changbin scoffed. “How many straight actors play gay roles?”“I’ll ask the, the, the questions here, Changbin."
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Comments: 11
Kudos: 62





	That One HyunLix Debate Team Fic

**Spring**

“Quiet, please,” said Mr. Choi. While most days he donned an old gray blazer over a white shirt accompanied by a tie that was the most offensive shade of yellow (dijon), spring was when he cleaned up. Spring was his season. Well, it was debate season. And it was also the one time out of the year that he seems to visit his barber and shave, and reach further into his closet for an ensemble that came off as _friend first, educator second_.

And while it would have been easy to keep picking apart Mr. Choi’s stylistic liberties, Felix had other priorities; the latest one being the debate topic at hand. 

Resolved: The Government Support Farming Subsidies

Surrounding Felix that night on the Daeil High Stage was the sign reading Affirmative to his front, and Han Jisung to his right. He didn’t believe in being on the affirmative, but he believed in his debate partner. He believed in Jisung so much that from the moment he woke up, put his uniform on, brushed his blonde hair up into something more formal, rode the bus to school, and eventually took his seat on stage, all he could think about was how that trophy would look in his shelf as it joined the rest of his collection. 

For as long as Felix had known Jisung, his then friend and now debate partner, the other always had impeccable posture. That night wasn’t any different, Felix thought, as he watched Jisung take the stand, buttoning the front of his school jacket, his yellow pad paper landing on the surface of the podium with a dull thud. 

Finally, it was quiet.

One of the judges held up a card that read 8, signaling Jisung to begin. Eight minutes for the affirmative opening. Jisung, in all of his dramatic flare, used four seconds of his precious time to look out at the audience, two to size up the other team, and one to wink at Felix. _What a fucking show off_.

“It will come as no surprise to anyone here from our school, the judges, our esteemed opponents from MFL Prep, nor Mr. Choi’s emerald-toned tie--” Jisung paused for a laugh, and he got it. Felix covered his own smirk behind his fist, waiting for him to continue. “--that we, the affirmative from Daeil High, support this year’s national policy debate resolution.” Jisung sealed the opening line with a smile.

“From here, I’d like to proceed with bullet points in support of farming subsidies and I’ll be going at my own pace.” Jisung turned to the representatives of MFL Prep to his left. “Hang on if you can.” He grinned as he referred back to his notes. He planted both hands on either frames of the podium, took in a breath, and replaced the exhale with his first point at a speed only comparable to light. 

“Our plan today is succinct. Only by becoming a fully socialist regime, will the South Korean government ever emerge as the true moral leader of the free world, and thus create a lasting peace,” would be a sentiment that would take the average man maybe ten seconds to express. Jisung said it in three.

And so began the war on the stage of Daeil high, students wielding words like weapons, yellow pad paper and pens as armor. As complicated as it might have looked, debate and being on that stage was the simplest it was ever going to get for Felix. Unlike what lay outside of the debate bubble, his only purpose on that stage was to seal the affirmative and tear down the opposition. Any world outside of farming subsidies was no world at all. Any music that didn’t involve ballpoint pens scratching paper, of yellow leaves being flipped, or the initial static interference of the microphone, was white noise.

The trophy was practically on a conveyor belt, inching towards him as the debate progressed. The opponents were loose in their arguments at best, building houses made out of straws, easily knocked down even before Felix took the stand to rebuttal. He’d expected more, he supposed. And at certain points, it felt almost too easy, like his victory was being handed to him.

Until it was snatched away in the form of dead silence.

It shook him out of his trance. The conveyor belt had paused. Just like Jisung had paused mid sentence. And all Felix saw was a person he’d never met before. It wore Jisung’s face, but he was an impostor.

“I already said that…” Jisung said pathetically, staring up at the lights, lips parted. He was lost.

Felix’s eyes grew two sizes bigger, it felt like. If he exerted any more pressure in his grip, he’d snap his pen in half. In a moment of weakness, he heard himself hissing out Jisung’s name, calling out to him in vain. But they were dead even before the trigger was pulled. Jisung was quiet for ten seconds, which was ten minutes in debate time. For Felix, the silence seemed to go on for longer somehow, as though the globe had done a full spin and they were back to spring, on that stage.

But even then, as Jisung stood there with nothing to offer, he kept his back straight and ended up smiling at the disappointed faces before him. The faces of people that had known him to be the one with the voice.

Felix wishes he could say that he kept it together until the end too. But other students wouldn’t be so sure. If you asked those who didn’t pay attention, Felix just walked out. If you asked the students that were in the male bathroom that night, they would say that he balled his eyes out in one of the stalls.

\--

**Fall**

“Didn’t I tell you to get a haircut?” 

Hyunjin paused in his tracks, turning to his mom who was by the sink. There wasn’t much room in their apartment so it wasn’t an impossible feat even as he was on his way out. He tucked dark strands of hair behind his ear when it was just about covering one side of his face.

She walked over to him to fix the collar of his uniform - which wasn’t even crooked to begin with - and brushed his hair back further from his face. “Don’t you want to look presentable on your first day at your new school?”

Hyunjin didn’t think it mattered. He kept his clothes and his hair as presentable as his mother’s standards back in his old school, but that didn’t work out for him either. It wasn’t the hair that was the problem.

He pointed at his watch and looked at the door.

“Okay, you’ll be late, I get it,” his mom said. She gave him a hug and got the door for him, and Hyunjin immediately felt guilty for being dismissive. As he walked to the bus stop, he decided that maybe he could buy something for her on his way home later. _Because that would make up for him being a shitty son, sure_. He rolled his eyes at himself. It was much too early and his brain was being much too loud. Thankfully he had music for that.

He plugged his earphones in during the bus ride to school and didn’t take them off even as he walked through the entrance. He didn’t look forward to replacing it with the universal sound of a high school filled with students. There was no way to make music out of it, as much as the cast of High School Musical would like you to believe. It was just noise. Hyunjin had enough of that in his own mind.

One thing he did like about Daeil was that there were signs everywhere that pointed in the direction of this classroom or that office, which was good news for him because the last thing on his mind on a Monday morning was interaction with people his age. The admin office was at the left of the entrance, further down the hall, the entire room reeking of old folders and something musky that Hyunjin couldn’t quite place. 

A short woman whose hair bun was done so tightly that it gave her a face lift made her way to the desk to greet him.

“Great! You’re Hwang Hyunjin?” She asked to confirm after Hyunjin presented his temporary ID to her.

Hyunjin nodded, lips formed into a tight smile.

“Great! Do you have your booklist ready?”

Hyunjin nodded again and produced a crumpled list from his pocket. 

She seemed hesitant to accept it, using only her forefinger and thumb as she struggled to unfold the ball of paper. She attempted to iron the paper flat on the desk with a random pen and put on her glasses to inspect the list.

If Hyunjin wasn’t late before he certainly was now after the admin woman took forever to figure out the titles on the list or confirm the signature on the bottom. “...great!”

Hyunjin returned her smile with one of his own.

“Slight problem…”

Hyunjin brows drew together. So it wasn’t… great?

“I checked our records with finance and noticed that your payment is only for tuition and half of the books. Will you not be purchasing all of them right away?”

Shit. Hyunjin needed to call his mom. Except he didn’t have a cellphone. There was a phone on the desk that was behind the admin woman, but because it was placed so far from him he wondered if it was for student use. He did pay for tuition though so it should be. But how could he say all of that. Where would he start?

He took a deep breath. And on the exhale, he tried to explain that there might have been a mistake. That his mom told him that everything was taken care of. And that if they wanted, he could call his mom using the landline phone on the desk over there, and they could talk because she would know more about this. And for any average person, that would have taken maybe ten seconds to spit out. Hyunjin couldn’t even get past _There might have been a mistake._ And by the time he made it to _mistake_ , ten seconds was 11 seconds ago. And now he was stuck. “Could, could, c-could I use, use, use, the, the -- I can, I can, I can, I, I, can call, my, my, mom. To--”

Hyunjin could already tell just by the look on her face. She was about to stop him. About to say no. She was about to end his sentence for him. And the more time he felt he was losing, the worse his stutter got.

“What’s your mom’s number?”

Hyunjin had never really heard a voice quite like it. And when he turned to his left, to where he suspected the source of the voice was, he could easily conclude that he’d never seen anyone quite like him either. Unfortunately Hyunjin’s default when faced with what he’d never seen or heard was to stare until his eyes dried out.

The boy stepped closer, waving his palm in front of Hyunjin’s face. By his smile, Hyunjin could tell that he was partly kidding. It did work however, and in a few blinks, Hyunjin was knocked out of his trance.

“I could call her for you? ‘Coz the admin phone isn’t for student use.” The boy went on to explain, taking his cellphone and holding it in both hands. “What’s her number?”

“Uhm, I…” Hyunjin wanted to say that it might be best that he dial it instead if they didn’t want to be stuck in that office for an extra hour. But his hands were doing the talking for him. He reached out his right hand, palm up, his left hand gently curved around his right wrist, bowing slightly.

And when the boy said, “Oh, you’re right,” with a laugh, and placed his cellphone into Hyunjin’s hand, he was nearly convinced that he said that out loud. 

The boy pocketed his hands as Hyunjin proceeded to dial his mom’s number. The call connected and thankfully after a couple of rings she picked up. The rest of the procedure went smoothly as soon as his mom explained her own discussion with the finance team and how they worked out payment. They were on the phone for seven or eight minutes. When the admin woman hung up after a final “Great!” she tried to explain the mix up to Hyunjin, and he nodded appropriately even when he was absorbing none of what she was saying.

Truthfully, he was a little distracted.

The boy accepted his cellphone back, bowing at the admin woman and saying that he could help Hyunjin find the bookstore later to pick up his books. Before Hyunjin could refuse, the other boy patted his shoulder and smiled, explaining that it was no trouble at all.

“I’m Felix, by the way.”

“Felix,” Hyunjin repeated.

“Perfect,” Felix commented, pleased. He poked Hyunjin’s temporary ID. “Hwang Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin nodded.

“Cool. Well, I’ll see you later.”

\--

  
  


School was school. 

Hyunjin figured that Felix must have been in a different section since when he stepped into homeroom he couldn’t find him in the sea of curious faces greeting him. His mother might have given the school the same spiel as always because he didn’t even have to say anything for the teacher to act quickly and do his introduction for him. Unfortunately, the only seat available was two rows down, right next to the window where the sunlight streamed through. Hyunjin hated the sun. He never understood the appeal. It was just a ball of fire that was going to eat the earth one day to feed its fuel.

The surface of the chair and the table was warm to the touch. Hyunjin made a note to not touch the steel frames on the sides of the table. On account of his sudden growth spurt some time last year, he failed several times, his knees knocking into the steel every so often when he tried to sit more relaxed. 

English rolled around two subjects later, the last class before lunch. He thought he’d lost his pen and tried lifting his A4 notebook up to find it. He heard the pen drop somewhere and was already being handed back to him by another student. As Hyunjin took the pen back, she commented, “nice notebook” under her breath, referring to the puppy skin that he wrapped the covers with. He did like it a lot. When he wanted to thank her, she smirked and walked back to her seat, whispering something to her friend. They both looked at Hyunjin and giggled.

_Ah. Guess they aren’t a fan of dogs_.

He didn’t have his assigned books yet since the bookstore didn’t open until late -- which he thought was curious due to the fact that students needed supplies all the time, not just after 4PM -- but he did a lot of advanced reading in his old school. This was why the current class discussion was speaking to the side of his brain where he stored useless information. The English teacher liked to give a lot of opportunities for class participation. Probably much more than the past two teachers. The rest of the class didn’t think much of it, but Hyunjin liked it. He thought that maybe in one of his teacher’s questions, he’d be able to give her an answer. What ended up happening was all of those answers landing on his dog printed notebook, crossed out when he couldn’t find it in himself to raise his hand.

By lunch, Hyunjin had the fish. He didn’t choose the fish. He wanted the pizza. Because the pizza came in either cheese or pepperoni, while the fish came as white and that was it. He just couldn’t say it in time. He couldn’t go up to the lunch lady and smile and say that he wanted the pizza. By the time he was pointing to the pizza, she already had a plate of fish for him. And that was how he ended up with the fish. He poked it with one chopstick and tried to convince himself that maybe the fish had chosen him for a reason. Maybe he was the fish. Awkward, white, not everyone’s first choice, but fairly palatable if you gave it a chance. He looked up and saw some tables further, the same girl from his homeroom, sitting with her friends, enjoying their pizza.

Hyunjin thought that perhaps in this school, there were two kinds of people; the pizza and the fish. 

Yeah, he was definitely the fish.

\--

Felix watched the students file out of their last class, leaning against the lockers and nodding back at the students that knew him and greeted him. Hyunjin was the last to emerge from the room, nearly missing that Felix was there until he tapped his shoulder.

“Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin spun around, pausing halfway through trying to stick his pencil case into the front pocket of his backpack. It wasn’t that Hyunjin wasn’t used to hearing his first name said so casually. It was just that the only first name basis person he has in his life was his mom. And Felix was most definitely not his mom.

“I’m Felix? From this morning? Remember?” Felix took out his phone to remind Hyunjin, as though it were more memorable than his eyes.

Hyunjin zipped his bag and tossed it back to hook his other arm into the sleeve. He nodded _yes_ , he remembered Felix.

“I think the bookstore’s open. It’s this way.” Felix jabbed a thumb in the direction over his shoulder.

Hyunjin nodded again and fell into step with him, feeling awkward and lanky, and like he didn’t belong. 

“Was she nice to you when I left?”

Hyunjin turned to Felix, blinking. Hyunjin must have been more expressive than he gave himself credit for because Felix managed to read his face really well.

“Ms. Kim? Sonia Kim? The woman at admin?”

Hyunjin’s lips parted, like he was about to say _oh, her._ He didn’t feel like saying anything at all though. Despite that, he went with, “She, she. She’s fine.”

“Fine?” Felix stuck his hands in his front pockets, nodding along like he was considering Hyunjin’s evaluation. “Some would say she’s _great_.”

Hyunjin didn’t find many people funny. But he felt himself smile, both at the quip and Felix’s attempt at conversation. And of course, his _astute observation_. Felix must have been a hundred year old sorcerer who held all of the answers of the universe. Hyunjin was most convinced of this when he got him to smile with all of his teeth showing -- this was caused, of course, by Felix successfully mimicking her tone and pronunciation: _Great!_

Felix was definitely the pizza.

\--

The interaction lasted 40 minutes, but Hyunjin replayed every bit of it on his bus ride home. The first replay was more methodical in that it was to recount the things Hyunjin could have done better. Or said better. Or more realistically, said at all.

Hyunjin wasn’t naturally funny but he had his moments. He could have commented on the titles of the books, he could have made a pun -- unless Felix hated puns, then maybe not. He should probably think that through. When he asked Felix why he knew so many people at the school, he could have answered for him first and said something witty like i _s it because you slept with all of them?_ Hyunjin winced at his own thought process. That wasn’t funny. Hyunjin was more relieved that he didn’t say it. Especially because Felix’s answer was much more interesting in comparison.

“I’m in the debate team,” he said. Debate team. “We won two years in a row. Except for this year.” That made sense. Felix had a voice that was meant to be heard. It was rich and smooth and something like caramel for ears, something to fall asleep to, something to listen to when things got overwhelming. Maybe if he tried hard enough, Felix could replace one of the voices in his head.

But he’d have to try really hard.

Hyunjin also found out that Felix was from Australia, but had been living in Korea for four years. “Ever since the divorce, my mom decided to raise me here instead. She said this really fucked up thing when I was younger, I’ll never forget it. She said, ‘good thing you’re an only child and you like me more. Or else, we’d have to cut you in half.’ The next day in bible study, I learned about the story of Solomon and two mothers. Funny how that works out.”

“Is, is, is, is that, is that true?”

“No, it’s biblical.”

“No, that you like, like, like, that you like your m-m-mom more?”

It was a stupid question then and it was stupid having to relive on the bus ride home. He shouldn’t have asked. And Felix also looked like he wished Hyunjin didn’t ask. Because he’d probably been asked to choose between his parents several times before. And he didn’t need some Fish with a stutter to stretch the question even longer for him. What was worse was that he didn’t even care about the answer. He just wanted Felix to talk more. Hyunjin couldn’t remember a time that he had a conversation this long with someone who didn’t also do his laundry. It felt nice. Normal.

What he hated even more was Felix’s polite answer: “Yeah, I guess.” Because had he not felt sorry for Hyunjin, his reaction might have been entirely different. And once his head was out of the clouds, Hyunjin would remind himself that that was all this was. It was Felix being nice to the new boy who couldn’t speak right, just like he was nice to the people who could.

The second replay, which Hyunjin proceeded with as he ate dinner with his mom in front of the TV, was more indulgent in that it was just to think about the little things in the quiet. The things Hyunjin saw when Felix was looking the other way.

Felix greeted every single person back that said hi to him. And from time to time he’d introduce Hyunjin to them as the new kid, and touch Hyunjin’s elbow as he said his name. The way he said _Hyunjin_. Hyunjin was perhaps just imagining it, or maybe everything Felix did and said was in perpetual slow motion for him just to make it last longer, but he swore that Felix said his name differently. He said it softer maybe? Took his time with it maybe? He said it like he was fond of it, because he always dotted the I with a smile.

Felix liked the smell of new books. He picked up the arts books and leafed through it, taking in the chemical scent with his eyes closed. He said the art books were the best smelling ones. Hyunjin couldn’t see the reasoning behind that and Felix didn’t explain further, but Hyunjin believed him anyway. He liked the smell of new books too. 

Felix also gave Hyunjin one reason to appreciate the sun. He realized that as they were walking on the school grounds and out of fluorescent lights, that Felix had a constellation of freckles from his nose to his sideburns, dotting a path along his cheeks, like lily pods resting on a calm pond. Hyunjin wasn’t sure how he missed it, but he was glad the sun was there to correct that right away. 

He fell asleep in the middle of arguing with himself that it would be impossible to count each one.

The third replay, Hyunjin couldn’t even get to until he was in bed. It was for one particular moment that he watched through the ceiling as his eyes lit up the surface as though they were projector lenses.

They were about to leave the bookstore when Felix asked, “Have you gotten your picture taken yet? For your ID?”

Hyunjin shook his head no.

Felix then walked back to the glass stand and asked the staff if Hyunjin could get that done now. While the staff agreed and asked that they both go to the back, to get to the studio, Hyunjin scrunched his nose up while looking at Felix.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m, I’m, I’m not photo ready.”

Felix stared back at Hyunjin as though the other had grown a second head. “You’ll be fine.”

They walked after the staff person to the back of the bookstore. The studio was composed of a green backdrop, a stool, two lights and a camera a few feet away. Felix scooped up Hyunjin’s new books up from his arms, taking them with him to the side where he placed them on the couch. Hyunjin took a seat on the stool as per the staff’s instructions, combing his hand back with his fingers and straightening his school jacket. 

“Okay,” the staff said, “look at the camera. One, two--”

“Wait!” Felix chirped, one hand up as he did a light jog to where Hyunjin was. With a slight bend to his knees, Felix reached over and played with Hyunjin’s hair a bit, piecing some strands to curl softly over and around his cheek. 

_Have you ever felt someone’s stare before?_

Hyunjin has. Felix’s gaze took with it the faintest touch, but it took effect _beneath_ the skin. The bridge of his nose tingled, heat gathering on either side of his cheeks, neck, and around his ears. He’d learned from a young age that the human body had more than five senses. Hyunjin wasn’t certain how many in total there were, but one thing he was sure of was that Felix was hitting all of them in that single moment, just by placing his face inches from Hyunjin’s and smiling slowly when he was satisfied with how he’d cleaned him up.

“Okay,” Felix said, signaling the staff with a thumbs up before walking backwards, away from the light.

The staff looked into the screen and did a test shot. While Hyunjin was still blinking in several successions, recovering from the flash, the staff didn’t look too pleased with the result. “Let’s do a real one this time,” he said. “I’m just going to adjust the settings because you’re looking a little red.”

Hyunjin wanted the earth to swallow him whole. He ended the memory by taking his pillow from beneath his head and smothering himself with it. Maybe if he was lucky, he’d _accidentally_ choke himself.

\--

**Winter**

With the exception of very few _Hi_ s and _Hello_ s, Hyunjin barely saw Felix much after the first time they hung out, if it would even be considered a real hangout. 

He did however make one new friend named Changbin while doing his cleaning duties in the library. He found Changbin on his tiptoes, one hand on the 4th highest shelf, the other struggling to reach for a book on the top. Hyunjin walked over, reached up and grabbed the book, handing it over to Changbin who tried his best not to look too frazzled at the newcomer, while tugging the hem of his uniform back down.

Changbin talked a lot, which Hyunjin liked. He talked so much that Hyunjin wasn’t sure where one topic ended and a new one began. It was like having ten conversations at once, but it was all Changbin, commenting on all sides. Somehow, that ended up with Changbin coming over to his house and having dinner with him and his mom. His mom, like Hyunjin, was glad to see that he made a friend so comfortable right from the get go. 

“Hyunjin’s a great listener.” Changbin smiled proudly.

They both enjoyed a serving a powdered rice cake in Hyunjin’s room, where Changbin was quick to go through his collection of books. Thankfully he only had a bottom shelf. Hyunjin would remember that sentiment to tell to Changbin later, when they’re much closer friends. Changbin fished out a new addition to Hyunjin’s collection, reading the title out loud: “The Art and Logic of an Illogical World.”

Hyunjin sat on his bed, legs crossed, rice cake on his lap, spoon tucked between his lips. 

Changbin, who was sitting on the floor next to Hyunjin’s bed, flipped the book around and continued to read. Seconds later, he asked, “this is about debate?”

Hyunjin blinked, eyes going down to his dessert. “Yes.”

“You wanna try out for debate?”

Hyunjin shook his head. “Just, just, I was just, curious.”

“We have a debate team. Did you know that?”

“I’ve, I’ve, I’ve heard, I’ve heard of it.”

“Yeah they’re really good. Except for this year.”

Hyunjin tilted his head to the side. “What, what happened?”

“Han Jisung and Lee Felix were representatives this year, as they were two years prior. They’re the whole reason Daeil got on the radar.” Changbin tucked the book back in place. “They were winning, I think, or I mean, I don’t know for sure. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention in the middle. But the affirmative was ahead. And then Han Jisung just stopped.”

“Stopped?”

“Yeah he just stopped talking. In the middle of a sentence. He’d never done that before.”

“Why?”

“Depends who you ask.” Changbin shrugged. “Some say he just blanked. But for one, this year’s resolution was about farming subsidies, which he did not shut up about all year round. He ate, breathed, and drank farming subsidies. And two, he wasn’t exactly known for his shortage of words. For a while, he and Felix were the most well-known kids in the school, more popular than the basketball team if you could believe that.”

Hyunjin could. He’d witnessed that popularity with his own eyes.

“Others say that he did it for a girl.”

“What do you, you, you mean?”

“Well, there were talks that he was seeing the girl on the opposition, from MFL Prep. Young Mina. And he supposedly sabotaged Daeil’s win this year for her so that he could switch schools and join their team.”

“But, but, but where is Han, Han Jisung now?”

Changbin grinned. “He’s in MFL Prep.”

“S-s-so, so, so it’s not a rumor.”

Changbin half-shrugged. “It’s pathetic is what it is. Anyway, I’m actually starting debate prep tomorrow. You wanna come?”

Jesus, Hyunjin thought. He was convinced that if he stood in the middle of the hallway and tossed a coin, whomever it hit randomly would be a member of the debate team. 

\--

Changbin reminded Hyunjin about debate prep once again that morning, which gave Hyunjin no excuse to forget it. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be there. He just didn’t want Felix to think that he was there for him, like he was stalking him or forcing himself into his life. Because if Felix wanted him there and they were really friends, he would have invited him to watch debate prep himself. This feeling sunk in further into his chest like a dagger when he realized that you didn’t need an invitation to watch debate prep. The individual classrooms that were hosting the event after school were open for any spectators -- encouraged even, as audience voting counts in the end result.

Hyunjin snuck into the back of room 30A after grabbing a drink from the vending machine. The resolution was written across the blackboard. _Resolved: That Educators be Immune From Tenureship_. He spotted Changbin jotting down notes ferociously on his yellow pad paper, sitting in the opposition. 

Hyunjin discovered five essential facts as he sat there and watched the debate unfold.

  1. Each argument, in full, was given eight minutes to be laid out by each side of the debate.
  2. Each eight minute argument was questioned for two minutes.
  3. Competitive debate ends after four rounds and while the affirmative has the opening speech, the opposed will always have the closing.
  4. Audience votes account for 50%.
  5. Changbin was one hell of a debater.



The amazing part for Hyunjin, wasn’t just the speed at which Changbin presented his argument, but the distinct way he had formed his sentences, the structure of his narrative, his hand gestures for emphasis, and the relaxed aura he had to him even as he was driving his point so far up the affirmative’s asses. 

Big breath in. “Furthermore,” Changbin continued, “the opposed believes tenureship to be an enriching component to the already existing education system in that it serves protection to educators from discrimination or age, political beliefs, and educational liberties that would otherwise be limited to cookie cutter and archaic educational designs that not only no longer apply to current times, but also do not fit the interests of young minds today.”

Changbin found it comical, the way Hyunjin bounced over to him later after he’d won the debate and had so many stars in his eyes, saying that it was the best thing he’d ever seen up close. He took out the second drink he bought from the vending machine and offered it to Changbin as he recounted one of Changbin’s arguments. He couldn’t say it as smoothly as his friend, but he tried and Changbin appreciated him all the more for it. 

“I have another in a few minutes with Felix. You wanna watch that one too?”

Hyunjin didn’t have to be asked twice. He filled up his water bottle and took a bathroom break before the debate, a similar ritual that he’d take part in before getting lost in one of his favorite shows. He was early to the debate this time, catching Changbin’s eyes and giving him a quick wave as he took his seat in the back. He was so early in fact that Changbin’s partner, Jeongin, was still writing the resolution on the board.

Hyunjin took his puppy notebook out for this one, wanting to see if he could map out rebuttals during the opening speech. He’d gotten the rules of competitive debate down, and wanted to further his day dream of being up there by competing as the opposition and seeing where it took him.

“Hyunjinnie?”

Felix looked different from what Hyunjin remembered. He’d barely seen him around school until debate that day. It had only been some months ago but Felix looked different. Still pretty, Hyunjin thought. It was the same Felix, but winter. His face was nested by the fluff on the edges of his parka hoodie, looking nice and tucked in. The skin on his hands looked dry as he slipped them from his gloves. Hyunjin hadn’t noticed how small his hands were before. His lips were redder, like he’d been worrying on them all morning. He was _nervous_.

Hyunjin’s own lips curled into a smile despite the warmth on his cheeks from being caught staring at Felix’s lips. 

“I didn’t think you were interested in this kind of stuff,” Felix said. If Hyunjin allowed himself to read further into that, he would say that it was Felix’s way of explaining why they didn’t have any more excuses to hang out. He would think that Felix perhaps wanted him to be there, but wasn’t sure if Hyunjin would have wanted anything to do with it.

But Hyunjin wouldn’t let that thought burn a path to his chest. It was too far of a dream that didn’t deserve any real estate in his person. He wouldn’t let it. He used his pen to point at Changbin, now sat on the affirmative side, clearing his throat.

“Ah,” Felix followed the direction of Hyunjin’s pen and nodded once, returning his stare back to Hyunjin within seconds. “Yeah, Changbin’s been trying to get into the team for a while. It’s good that he finally found his place.”

“He’s really, he’s, he’s,” Hyunjin took a deep breath, uncapping his pen and letting it drop to the spine of his notebook. “He’s pretty good.”

Felix didn’t break eye contact. And Hyunjin found it a little unfair that while he sensed that Felix read him like a book, Hyunjin couldn’t say the same. He could stare at Felix all day -- he’d be the brave soul that would take up that challenge -- and still wouldn’t be able to figure out his mind. That moment was a prime example. Felix nodded twice, at a snail’s pace, in response to Hyunjin’s statement about Changbin, lips pursed softly. He looked… pensive? Maybe? Hyunjin wasn’t certain at all. But he held Felix’s gaze. It would have been a crime to break first, he thought.

Felix placed his palm flat on Hyunjin’s notebook, leaning just enough for Hyunjin to notice that his freckles had visibly faded, the shadow of his lashes over his cheek, the tiny cuts on his bottom lip. 

“I’m pretty good too, you know.” He said it in an almost challenging way, even when his voice was just soft enough for Hyunjin to hear.

And Hyunjin didn’t know what to do with that. He was caught between wanting to lean back and forward, so naturally he stayed right where he was, just openly staring at Felix because it wasn’t as though the other was signaling him to stop. He tried reading Felix’s face one more time, hoping for something he wasn’t sure of, something to hold onto, something that he could tuck away in his mind for later, to dissect and overanalyze.

But then Felix straightened up, ending the interaction with a small smile before turning away to walk to the front of the classroom where everyone was already seated. He shrugged his parka off and let it hang on the back of his seat, finding Hyunjin in the crowd once again after he’d settled down in his chair. 

So. Fucking. Unfair.

Hyunjin had been so gone that entire time that he didn’t manage to grasp any of the debate. All he knew was “Resolved: That Hwang Hyunjin Should Tighten His Defenses and Find a Way to be Less Obvious in Front of Lee Felix” because…

Well, because he was going to drive him away. Not now. Not while his novelty was still fresh. But eventually, once the appeal wore off. Hyunjin, even in his ultimate state of daydream, could not reason to himself or the fucking heavens that he deserved any space around Felix. There was nothing there for him that was meaningful or permanent and after the inevitable heartbreak that was surely beckoning for Hyunjin, even before the dust settles, he’d be nothing but an afterthought of a story. He’d be at the tail end of every memory Felix would have, the one person that he may or may not talk about to his friends. 

\--

“Hey!” Felix had caught up to Hyunjin outside of school, minutes after Changbin had left him at the entrance. 

Hyunjin turned around, already seeing Felix walking over to him before even seeing him, if that made sense. He had his hood up, blonde bangs ending right above his eyes. He looked so small even when they were nearly the same height. 

“You don’t have a hat?” Felix asked, pointing at Hyunjin’s head. “Aren’t you cold?”

Hyunjin pulled out earmuffs from his backpack and held them up. 

Felix snatched them away with a scoff and reached into his own bag for a beanie. “Here. It’ll be warmer, trust me.”

Hyunjin wanted to say no, that it was fine. But that would have been a lie. He would like to wear something of Felix’s. He believed it was warm even before he stretched it over his head. Beanies naturally served more warmth, sure. But it was also Felix Magic, Hyunjin thought. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t have to. In fact, there were a lot of things Hyunjin didn’t understand. Like in romance stories when leads would say that their heart skipped a beat. Hyunjin thought it to be a condition and that these leads should be more alarmed. But no, it was romantic. It was to signify the effect that one person had on another. Was it possible to be that deeply wrapped up in someone that it physiologically displayed itself?

“Do you…” Felix started, “have to be home? Right away?”

He asked as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, sniffing from the cold, the tip of his nose dusted pink.

The question was enough for Hyunjin to analyze if his heart did skip a beat just then. Or if he had arrhythmia. “No.”

“Do you wanna get some hot chocolate?”

Two things were true that night. One was that yes, he nodded at Felix, he would love to have some hot chocolate. And two, he didn’t have a heart condition.

\--

Okay, there was also one lie. He lied about not having to be home right away. The thing was he was banking on the fact that he’d never been out late before. And maybe if he called his mom right away that it’d be okay. So he offered to buy the hot chocolate for the both of them while Felix found a seat.

The closer he got to the counter, the more nervous he got. He started practicing what to say under his breath. He wanted two hot chocolates and to use their phone. That’s it, that’s all he had to say. Two hot chocolates and to use their phone. He could have easily skipped this entire thing and just used Felix’s cellphone like the last time, but he didn’t want Felix to think that he lied about having to go home. It would make things more complicated than it needed to be.

By the time he was at the front of the line, he was ready to speak and he felt good about it, but then the girl at the counter stopped his thought process by greeting him first and asking if he wanted the special holiday drink. He didn’t. But when he said no, it threw his entire routine off. 

After he shook his head and she proceeded to ask what his order was, he stared at her blankly. Did she hate him because he didn’t want the holiday drink? Hyunjin didn’t really come here for the holiday drink. Besides, it was probably just one of their regular drinks with extra cinnamon or something. It sounded like a scam. _No, don’t tell her that you know it’s a scam_. 

“Just the two hot chocolates is good, thanks.”

Felix was right next to him. Hyunjin didn’t know when he got there or how. Well, he knew how. He probably just walked there from whatever booth he chose for them. But how long had Hyunjin been standing there? He looked over his shoulder at the line behind him and no one seemed to be too bothered.

“Let’s go?” Felix placed his hand on the small of Hyunjin’s back and it was like the key that revved up the engine. 

Felix collected their drinks and went back to the booth that Felix chose, which he proudly stated was because it was closest to the heater. A man with clear priorities. Hyunjin liked that. But now that it was just the two of them and there wasn’t much pressure to do anything other than sit down and talk, Hyunjin wondered if Felix would ask him about his stutter. No, probably not. That probably wouldn’t interest him in the slightest. Felix knew a lot about a lot of things so he probably understood that defects didn’t usually come with fun back stories. Why would he invest any time and effort to get to know that side of Hyunjin. 

“I was just coming out of the bathroom when I saw you there,” Felix explained, referring to the counter. “You looked like you wanted something else?”

“Uhm, I, I, I--”

“What do you want? I can get it for you.”

“No, no. I just, I wanted, I wanted… I lied.”

“You lied?”

He wasn’t disappointed, like Hyunjin expected. He looked impressed, almost. “I don’t, I don’t, don’t, I don’t know if my, my, my mom, my mom would be okay with, with, with -- she worries.”

“Oh!” Felix was quick to fish out his phone, twisting his body to retrieve it from his jacket that was hanging off the side of the chair. He flipped his fringe back in place when it got in his eyes, handing the phone over to Hyunjin. “Here. You can call her and let her know you’re with a friend.”

Hyunjin kept his head down, staring holes into the phone. _They were friends_.

The call was relatively painless. His mom said that she’d keep his dinner in the fridge if he wanted it later. And that she was glad that he had a friend like Changbin. Hyunjin didn’t think to correct her. He wanted to, but he didn’t want to take up too much of Felix’s credits. 

“How come you don’t have a phone?” Felix asked moments later after Hyunjin hung up and returned his cellphone. 

“I, I, don’t have much use, for, for it.”

“You’ve used mine twice already. What if I wasn’t here.”

“Then I wouldn’t be, be, be here either.”

“Touche.” Felix smiled. “Well, do you want one?”

“No, I don’t, don’t, d-don’t see why I’d need, need it.”

Felix seemed confused by this, leaning forward, elbows on the table. “To talk to your friends?”

“I don’t have friends.”

“That’s not true.” Felix held a hand and started counting, “You have Changbin. You’re friends? And me.” 

He said it twice now. It must have been true. 

“I have an old one that I’m not using anymore if you want it.” Felix continued, “And before you say no, I’d beg you to reconsider. No one’s using it. Either it gets thrown into junk, mismanaged and contributes to the growing waste in the world and harms the environment. Or you use it. So choose your next words wisely.”

“Wouldn’t, wouldn’t it just be, be, be reused? The parts? When you, you, you throw, throw it?”

“Both you and I don’t know that to be true.” Felix smiled. “Just take it.”

“Okay,” Hyunjin nodded, taking a sip from his mug. Hopefully it was big enough to hide his smile.

The rest of the night breezed by without anything spectacular to the regular viewer. Hyunjin imagined what they looked like if he saw them from outside the cafe window, if they looked close and cozy, or fake. 

Hyunjin thought about all of the new things that he’d learned about Felix and realized that they began to border on insane. One would be that he liked the way Felix sat down. He would never dare say this out loud. He had trouble thinking about it in full, just to himself, without internally gagging. It was just so… relaxed? Felix took up space like he had always belonged there, if that made sense. He made every seat his, every mug his, he owned it all. He leaned back and perched his arm over the frame of the chair, legs crossed, his free hand mainly there to move in circles or dot at the surface of the table, for emphasis of course. Hand gestures were very important. 

Hyunjin’s favorite was when Felix leaned in close over the table and rested both elbows on the surface, arms crossed. He did this when Hyunjin was trying his hardest to express a thought as best as he could. Like when he tried to explain his love for music. He said that his father collected records and that as much as he wanted to keep them all, his mother insisted on throwing them out when they separated. She said that they needed a clean slate and that keeping his music blasting around the house would make it seem as though their home was still his. It made Hyunjin sad to think that his mother didn’t even have music to comfort her during those times. She just had him. And he was too young to really understand all of it.

He said all of that in a span of… he didn’t even know how long. But Felix never rushed him. Throughout all of it, Felix remained attentive, engaged, like Hyunjin was telling him something much more interesting than himself. Hyunjin felt small at the end, like stories were the air inside of him and after telling the one about his parents, he deflated just a bit.

But then Felix picked up the conversation with something about his own home life, saying that although his mother didn’t make him give up anything that was remotely connected to his dad, that she talked badly about him. He didn’t think he was a bad person. He just didn’t think that he was a good husband.

Hyunjin, at one point, said that it was a little too hot for him to be seated near the heater. Felix was willing to move somewhere else. He chose to do that instead of suggesting that perhaps Hyunjin should try taking the beanie off. But he shouldn’t mention it anyway. Hyunjin was in the middle of saying something as they were moving tables. He wouldn’t want to interrupt him.

The cafe wasn’t too far from Hyunjin’s house so Felix offered to walk him home. The entire walk was more quiet compared to the cafe. But it was nice. Usually when he was around someone he wasn’t familiar with yet, Hyunjin would be racking his brain for something to say. Or something to point at. Anything that would keep the conversation going. But it was peaceful just being there, walking together, the sound of traffic growing fainter as they walked into Hyunjin’s neighborhood. 

“I like it,” Felix commented out of nowhere while looking up at the apartment building that Hyunjin lived in. They were the only two standing outside by the street lamps, little breath clouds forming as they exhaled. “It reminds me of those apartment complexes in horror manga.”

Hyunjin smiled, though his brows were furrowed. “Uhm. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Felix said, smiling back. “Which one is yours?”

Hyunjin started counting from the bottom, up to the third floor window, then six windows to the right. 

“Oh shit, I can’t throw rocks that high.”

Hyunjin pouted. “What?”

Felix laughed into the side of his hoodie. “Nothing.”

\--

The resolution for the following year was announced before Christmas break. Parting the team circling around the announcement board in the lobby of the school was Changbin. He had half a sandwich poking out of his mouth as made his way to the glass cabinet of posted announcements, his eyes melting into upturned crescents at the new resolution for Spring next year. 

He dashed for the cafeteria, head whipping from left to right in search of Hyunjin, who he finally found in one of the long tables sat next to Felix. 

“Resolved!” Changbin’s voice echoed throughout the room the moment he made it to Hyunjin’s side, straddling the bench so that he could face the two. Others were much quicker to dismiss him, unlike Felix and Hyunjin who stared at him as though he’d manifested out of thin air. “That the Government Should Support the Teaching of Abstinence in Public Schools.”

“Yeah, Mr. Choi told me last night,” Felix offered, resting his face in his palm. “It’s a step up from farming--”

“--subsidies, I know.” Changbin completed the thought, practically foaming at the mouth, chewing what was left of his sandwich. “Do you have a partner this year, Felix?”\

“Not yet,” Felix responded, exasperated. 

Hyunjin had already been aware of the fact that Felix was worried about still not having a partner for debate prep. For the time being, he’d been rotating with existing team members, unable to decide who to stick with. It was mostly the topic at hand when they texted. That and what they had for dinner. 

“I haven’t found that zhujsh yet, you know?” Felix made a fist with one hand to demonstrate his point, that was seemingly still lost on his friends. “You know, zhujsh, like… that thing that makes it symbiotic.”

“Zhujsh smush, dude,” Changbin rolled his eyes. “Mr. Choi is gonna shkick you out if you don’t schmake up your mind.”

“H-h-he, he, he’d probably ki-kick, kick you, you out before he kicks out F-F-F-Felix,” Hyunjin smirked, feeling a little invincible that he got that out quicker than he expected. Especially since he was already laughing half way through that sentiment, and because Felix had already snaked an arm around him for a half back hug, muffling his laugh in the valley between Hyunjin’s shoulder blades.

“Wow,” Changbin was dumbfounded at the display, small smile playing on his lips. He wagged a finger between the two of them. “So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?”

Somewhere between the jabs at Changbin and the little texts throughout the day that Felix would send Hyunjin, they three of them found themselves in the library after school, collecting books on abstinence and population and sex and STDs and anything of value to the resolution. Hyunjin sat on one side of the table, partly doing his homework, partly listening to Felix read-whisper during his research, his index finger moving the sentences as he ran through them. Meanwhile, Changbin read with his mouth open, eyes wide and expressive as the cogs in his brain turned.

After a week of research, both Changbin and Felix convinced Hyunjin to be their mock judge as they ran through arguments from both the opposition (Changbin) and the affirmative (Felix). Hyunjin went the extra mile for the occasion; adding a yellow tie to his uniform and glasses that he would push up his nose every so often. He sat opposite Changbin and Felix in the cafe, back straight and fingers laced together on the table.

“Judges. Or sorry, judge?” Felix grinned at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin nodded once and waited for him to proceed.

“Esteemed opponent,” Felix turned to Changbin who was taking a sip of his latte. “Our Affirmative case today in effect states that increased teenage pregnancies will eventually bankrupt Social Security, destroy the economy and result in the Third World War. Therefore, we will quadruple the spending given only to schools that teach abstinence to their students.”

Hyunjin, clearly impressed at Felix summarizing what would have been an eight minute opening to ten seconds, turned to Changbin for the opposition.

Changbin lifted his pad and scanned through it for a bit before beginning. “Rather than attack the Affirmative case, I propose the following Negative counterplan: We grant all the harms claimed by the Affirmative, but state that the better way to combat teenage pregnancy is by pouring money into a huge rock concert that we'll call the _Concert for Sexlessness_."

Hyunjin couldn’t hold his laugh in, his composure completely ruined. The only thing that pulled him back to his senses was the fact that he was the only one laughing. Felix was cradling his face in both hands and Changbin was staring at Hyunjin in mild judgement and curiosity.

That was when it occurred to Hyunjin that he’d completely misread that. “Oh, you, you, you -- that was serious?”

Changbin lazily raised both hands on either side of him, palms up, as if offering his defense up for further examination. “What’s wrong with the rock concert for sexlessness?”

_Everything_ , Hyunjin didn’t say. He opted instead to go with: “W-well, how many rock, rock, rockstars do you know that prac-practice, practice abstinence?”

Changbin scoffed. “How many straight actors play gay roles?”

“I’ll ask the, the, the questions here, Changbin.”

“Dude, what’s your problem?”

Changbin’s question seemed to border on something beyond friendly banter, and it had caught Hyunjin’s attention to the point where he hadn’t noticed the look Felix was giving him just seconds ago.

“I don’t, don’t, don’t--”

“Don’t say you don’t have a problem, you clearly do. You’ve been piling on me since last week.”

“No. No, I, I, I, no, I wasn’t trying to, to, to be -- I was just, just--”

Changbin snatched Hyunjin’s puppy notebook away, the one where he’d write down his ideas and rebuttals and things he wished he could say but didn’t. He started flipping through the pages rapidly. “Spit it out, dude. Is it in here?”

Hyunjin had stood up so fast that the feet of his chair scraped audibly against the tiles. He walked over to the other side of the table, trying to reach for his notebook back, but Changbin hid it behind his back while continuing to taunt him.

Felix took the opportunity, while Changbin was distracted, to tear the notebook from Changbin’s grasp, flip it closed without looking at it, and hand it back to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin grabbed the notebook and without saying a word, snatched his bag up and rushed out of the cafe, with nothing but the sound of the bell above the entrance door in his wake.

“You’re a fucking prick, you know that?” Felix also began stuffing his things back into his bag.

“He can fuck around but I can’t? How is that fair? Just because he talk, talk, talks, with, with, with, an echo-cho-cho?”

Felix had two choices. He could knee this kid in the balls or he could walk out of there with his dignity, without causing any further harm. He took a few seconds to juggle between these two thoughts before he realized that he could do something better. “You’re off the team.”

Changbin froze. “You can’t do that.”

“Funny thing is I _absolutely_ can.” Felix shrugged into his coat and set the strap of his bag over his right shoulder. “Concert for sexlessness? Remember that that’s what this entire thing was for.”

Felix purposely bumped into Changbin’s shoulder on his way out, thinking that he probably wouldn’t be able to catch up to Hyunjin anymore so instead, he sent him a quick text and pocketed his phone, thinking that he might have just imagined seeing a sketch of two people sitting opposite each other in a cafe, or a drawing of the beanie he lent Hyunjin that he still hadn’t gotten back.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: this is heavily inspired by one of my favorite movies called "rocket science"  
> i saw that one weekly idol episode where hyunjin was stuttering through his introduction and decided to write an entire fic about about it  
> and yes, this isn't done. idk when part 2 will be ready, but encouragement could hasten that process :3


End file.
